PROCESS = FINDING OUR DESTINY
There have been so many times in my own life where it feels like there has been a process, or a journey in my walk with the Lord, where I’ve found myself asking questions, wondering where God is in the process. So often, I have found myself running in circles, trying to find purpose in the midst of the pain, or what feels so real at the moment, rather than focusing on the reality of where God is, and was during those hard times in my life, these were the places where God met me where I was.
As a young adult, I have found myself connecting with other people both my age, older than me, and younger than me. The interesting thing to note is that each of us, no matter our age, we find ourselves in pursuit of searching for something more to life, than just a lifestyle of mediocrity. I believe that each of us will find our purpose and our destiny in our process, not just at the end of the tunnel (also known as Fantasy Land) that we always dream of getting to.
EMBRACING THE PROCESS/FINDING VICTORY
As a person of faith, I have found myself beginning to question myself, or even (yes) begin to question God. As I grew up, I found myself without a purpose, without hope, or without a destiny, maybe you can relate. As I found myself in this place, it was during a place of deep depression, and anxiety, where it crippled my very being because I didn’t know how to get out of it. It was in this time in my life, where I found the answer to the emptiness that my soul was experiencing during its current reality, this was when God showed up! I want to talk to you about how God reveals Himself, in the midst of our process. I have a story to share with you that I think will impact, and relate with your lives.
When I was in school a couple of years back, I found myself deep in a hole of questioning who God was, (the interesting thing to note here as well is that I was in a school where God’s power and presence existed was around every corner that you went to) so, how can a person, who is surrounded by the very essence of God’s presence, not experience, find, or believe that it is there, in a place where He is so present? I want to explain this to you in both a way that is simple, but also super practical. I believe (now being out of the process) that the perspective that I was viewing through, was a lens that was skewed, and not the lens that was Kingdom. During this point and time in my life, I had just come out of an “Atheistic” lifestyle, where I was actually somewhat against God, more than not believing in God.
I grew up in the church; I went to every service, every function that existed, and every conference/camp. Leading up to this point in my life during, this dark time, I was (as stated above) hopeless, and without a purpose, I love to share my pain with people because it’s in our pain that God works through us, and doesn’t just restore us, but gives us the confidence to help others out of the same things, and for us to walk FROM a place of victory. The reason that I’m telling you this is because I believe that by the end of this blog post, you will be able to walk into a new level of freedom, and thus, walk in victory.
FINDING US IN THE PROCESS
So, this is what happened. I came to school one day, it was no different than the rest and I was restless, it was the type of feeling within my soul where I was so beyond the point of believing in something, or someone, after all, the school that I was going to had people who were shouting the name of “Jesus” and “God” but I didn’t know where to find Him, little did I know that what was coming next would change the course of my life forever. God will find you in your unbelief, in your uncertainty, and in your process. God isn’t afraid of our questions, because He created us as human beings, He knows us!
The same day that I believed that God was distant, He revealed Himself to me as The One who was close, and closer than my own breath or a brother. I was in worship and I did what I normally do, at school, we had a powerful time of worship and everyday people would go crazy at the anticipation of God’s presence flooding the room, so I went up front with some friends to worship. Now it’s interesting to note here that I have always been a person who loves music, and worship music, so God found me in a place where He knew I would be. At the end of the fourth song, my Pastor Elizabeth came up to me, and simply said: “God sees you and knows your heart, He is waiting for you to come back home, He isn’t mad at you, and He has such a purpose for you.” I balled my eyes out as her words spoke into who I was, and who God said that I was.
BEING CHANGED FOREVER
Sometimes in our lives, we find ourselves being tossed by the waves, moving back and forth, pushed up against the current, but it’s in these moments that the Breath of God reveals Himself, and we are changed forever. It’s in our moments of uncertainty that God shows us who He truly is, it’s in this time that we find God in the process, and it’s our ability to choose Him, when we do this, we will be transformed, and our lives become changed.
Now, I do want to say to you today that God wants you to come as you are, I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to have my “ducks in a row” before I came to God, but the reality is that when we encounter His truth, it removes any lies that we wrestle with, because as we embrace Truth, and focus on the Truth, the lies fade away, but we must choose to break partnership, and believe in a greater reality. So, what was missing? Why did I find myself in a place of rejecting God, and missing purpose? I believe that the soul longs for the essence of God, rather than what we try to “fill” ourselves with, which leaves us empty, but God’s Presence, being known by Him, being a son or a daughter will change us, and through the Power of the Holy Spirit, we will change others.